How to Interact With Lost Family Members

Question: I probably could speak for everybody here that we have family members who are still lost. Many of us have reached out to them in one way or another to try and preach the Gospel. And for those who have rejected the Gospel and we still have interaction with them, do you have any wisdom on what that should look like. For instance I have brother who is a practicing homosexual, and another brother who is a Muslim. Situations like that. Once you’ve already made it clear what the Gospel is and where you stand, what should that interaction look like?

Charles: That’s a really hard one. But I don’t think it’s right to cut people off. Sometimes people think “Well I’ve talked to them about the Lord and they’re a homosexual, and I don’t even want go and be around them.” And that kind of thing. None of that is right. So we have an open door. We shower love on them but they need to know where we stand on things. And there may be times to bring it up again. You know to say “I talked to you about this and I don’t want you to feel like I’m chiding you, but I’m just so burdened for your soul. It’s so hard to know what is too much. I mean my own mother, I talked to her for hours and hours. But towards the end of her life I didn’t talk to her very much. I think I went a little too far, I wish I would have said more. Sometimes you just know that if you say anything more you will just create more problems. You’ve just got to look to God to do something.

Question: So when it comes to things like family gatherings like thanksgiving. You know, seeing dad on the weekend, things like that. And the talk is just trivial and your heart is just really burdened for them. Is that a situation, you know, there is that tension.

Charles: This is the thing of part of what the law of Christ has to do with, just crying out to God to show us by His Spirit what to do. A.W. Tozer was burdened for his mother and he thought through all he was going to say to her. Then he came into the room and he just lost it all and burst into tears and said “Mom, you’re lost.” I mean the love is going to come through more than anything we say. I feel like if we are praying for the person and we are burdened for them we will know what to say when we are supposed to say it. There is just nothing that you can formulate.